If You Love Your Spouse, You’d Make Them Financially Independent

I hope everyone had a wonderful Valentine’s Day! I spent about $360 dollars on a dozen long stem red roses and took my wife on a scenic helicopter ride over Napa Valley to a secret mountain villa. Just kidding. Instead, I got her some white roses for $20 because they smelled better, did some last minute grocery shopping and cleaned the kitchen at 6:45am, whoo hoo! 

Depending on someone for money is a terrible feeling. Imagine being a grown adult still living at home with your parents. Every time you go out, you’ve got to ask them for a couple bucks to buy a loaf of bread or more likely, beer money to hang out with your buddies.

Now imagine marrying someone, giving up your job to raise a family, and being entirely dependent on your working spouse for all your spending needs. A common situation, but is it ideal?

It’s one thing to depend on someone for money as a kid. It’s another thing to be dependent on someone as an adult after getting a college education and marketable work skills.

For all this talk about the desire for financial independence, it’s odd that some couples aren’t willing to establish separate financial accounts to allow each other more freedom.

My Husband Is A Rich Controlling Miser

I recently received an e-mail from a reader who highlights the point about the importance of financial independence in a marriage. I asked her to elaborate her thoughts on the subject after her initial e-mail, and this is what she wanted me to share.

Sam,

It’s been a while since we last corresponded, but I wanted to drop in and say how much I agree with you regarding the importance of having separate financial accounts.

My husband and I are worth about $4 million, up from $900,000 in 2012. Last year, he made over $1 million from his business, but you would never know it.

We live in a house worth less than 40% of our annual gross income, while some people spend 3-5X their annual income on a house. We have a 10+ year old car and he prefers to bike everywhere. 

I’ve been a stay at home mother for the past 10 years. I help out with our business where I can. However, between picking up our daughter from school and shuttling him between activities, I admittedly don’t do a large amount of business work as I used to. It’s his baby.

I’ve been with my husband since the business first started. For years, we hardly made any money and I was his support system. I did a lot of the grunt work in the…

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