What causes self-sabotaging behavior? At times, people see a pattern with themselves that whenever they are about to make a big change in life, they start procrastinating and find a reason to not go through with it. The inability to take action annoys the living heck out of them, yet they cannot do anything about it. As a result, they also cannot create the life they truly dream of. That is when the question is asked – “what causes self-sabotaging behavior and how do I get rid of it?”
What causes self-sabotaging behavior
Negative past experiences
One of the core causes of self-sabotaging behavior lies in our life’s past experiences.
As we grow, we gain wisdom simply by experimenting and experiencing life. And as we experiment, we inevitably make mistakes, which is a natural part of the process. As a matter of fact, making mistakes and learning from them is probably the quickest and most effective way to gain that wisdom.
Unfortunately, though, some of those mistakes become a bit more dramatic than we would like them to be, making us feel miserable for long periods of time.
In addition, they can negatively affect how we live our lives in the present moment and in the future. These mistakes scar us and eventually become a part of who we are and how we experience the world around us.
Probably, the most common example of this is a teen falling in love for the first time and then having their heart broken by another person. As a result of this emotionally difficult experience, that teen may form an opinion that “all boys/girls cannot be trusted”. And although that belief is totally false and is based on one specific negative experience, it nevertheless can cause a person to close up, become skeptical and even paranoid towards every new partner.
Formed habits at childhood
Another common cause of self-sabotaging behavior lies in the people that surround us during childhood.
Most of the self-sabotaging behavior does not come from a conscious decision to act that way. Instead, it comes from the subconscious, making it sometimes very hard to understand why we behave in the ways we do.
As children, our brains are like sponges, sucking in everything that happens around us. Our surroundings, experiences and also the people whom we grow up next to are the ones that take part in forming our personality. This is what psychologists refer to as the nature vs nurture debate, nature referring to our genes and nurture to the surroundings that we are…