When You Find Your Soulmate At The Wrong Time

What Should You Do When You Find Your Soulmate at the Wrong Time?

When you find your soulmate at the wrong time, it can be incredibly exciting and  yet very challenging.  You feel deeply connected and blissful when you are together,  but you can’t really be with your new love for any sustained period of time. Oh yeah, but you’re married. And/or he is. Because of this complication, the heartache, the longing, the suffering is immense and at times, unbearable.  Virginia Woolf puts it this way in To The Lighthouse:

“To want and not to have, sent all up her body a hardness, a hollowness, a strain. And then to want and not to have — to want and want — how that wrung the heart, and wrung it again and again!”

That quote captures what happened to Clarissa, a 40 something hospice nurse. Clarissa was in turmoil because she had no clue as to what to do when you find your soulmate at the wrong time. She was in a sexless marriage to a workaholic architect.  As a super caretaker with her patients, her kids and her husband, she pushed her own needs to the back burner.

Clarissa Meets her Soulmate

That is, until she met Carlos, an earthy lovable guy who joined her hospice team as a social worker. Clarissa and Carlos hit it off instantly, sharing their daily work, inspiring each other to find the laughter in life, and sharing their sorrow when beloved hospice patients died.  Carlos was naturally physical and affectionate and, as they grew closer, one day, a single touch from his sensitive fingers set her soul on fire.  She knew in this instant that they had a soulmate connection.  And from the look in his eyes, so did he!  Carlos made her a playlist of songs he loved and they all turned out to be love songs.  Clarissa fell madly in love with this man.  One hug, one kiss on the cheek from him was enough to make her day. She dreamed of him at night and he entered her fantasy life big time.

Clarissa felt she could not break up her family since her kids were under 10.  She wondered, how can you cope when you find your soulmate at the wrong time? She was dying to have an affair with Carlos, but felt like it was against her morals and religion.

Clarissa Seeks Help

Clarissa decided to go into love mentoring.  Her coach helped her understand that she was not getting her wants and  needs met in her marriage. And this was in part due to her not asking for her own needs to be met. At a certain point, Clarissa’s husband, Ed, joined the coaching…

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