Marriage And Relationships: What Happy Couples Know

Have you ever wondered about what happy couples know about staying in love? Their secret sauce? While I’ve written about this extensively in other posts and in my book, Love in 90 Days, I thought a fresh look at this topic might be fun. And speaking of fun, there are four key ingredients that underlie ongoing attraction in couples: having fun together, laughing together, going on exciting outings and doing novel things together. Just practicing these behaviors for a few minutes each day can make a vast difference in your personal happiness and in your relationship.

They Have Fun Together

Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
Victor Borge

Remember, how you first fell in love with each other—while you were going out on dates that were fun?  So what happy couples know is how to keep having fun together.

First, create situations and interactions where you are happy, content, enjoying yourself and having fun.  And he is too.  Share activities like museum exhibits, plays, movies, parks, picnics, day trips, long walks, cooking a new dish, preparing a feast for friends or family, playing card games, hanging out at a community pool, or lounging in front of the TV and watching an entire season of that sci-fi or comedy series that you both love. These activities inevitably lead to holding hands, touching, looking at and appreciating each other, which in turn produce the hormone oxytocin which is the bonding and attachment hormone.

What happy couples know is that they need some quieter activities for their down-times together. In fact, these are perfect for couples that lead stressed lives either because of work or family responsibilities like children or sick parents. If you want to really bond with a highly stressed guy, try not to run him around too much and make a lot of physical contact with him so he slows his motor down.

Spending Time Alone

When I interview these guys about their mates and why they chose them, they nearly always point to how they felt at peace around them. I’m not saying you should never go to a club and stay out all night or go bungee jumping. There’s a place for that as well. But for bonding, there’s nothing like being alone and hanging out doing something you both really enjoy. So what happy couples know is that spending time alone with each other is a key ingredient in a healthy relationship.

What Happy Couples Know: They Laugh

Second, make sure you watch funny movies or more sophisticated cartoons,…

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