Six Ways to Deal with Unwanted Dating Advice
It is extremely difficult to deal with all the unwanted dating advice that comes your way when you are single. There is your mother, your aunt Claire, your best friend (or frenemy) who are all weighing in on what you should do or not do to find the one. “Go out to dinner with your cousin and his friends!” “Keto will take off those last few pounds—you have such a pretty face!” “You have to get out more—you’re home too much!” It is enough to make you want to stop talking to them completely!
But there are other, easier ways to handle unwanted dating advice. Where you don’t have to kill off the relationship in order to be around your well-meaning but sabotaging family and friends. So here are six powerful tips for dealing with unwanted dating advice.
Dealing with Unwanted Dating Advice Tip #1 Use the Therapist’s Secret.
When you’re facing unwanted dating advice, win by refusing to engage in a disagreement. Accept comments on your appearance, weight or being single or what you “should” be doing differently. In other words, criticisms that used to upset you now simply nod and say “That’s the way you see it.” This really throws them in a judo-like way without engaging them further and will save you from a lot of stress.
Dealing with Unwanted Dating Advice Tip #2 Take an Attitude of Positive Paranoia.
When your family or friends hit you with their usual unwanted dating advice, save yourself from suffering by focusing on how they love you and really want to help you. Rather than sabotaging you. Here’s what I mean: You know that the people in your posse love you and mean well but don’t always know how to show it. Often we do not focus on the love that is truly there for us. Instead, we focus on the surface interactions which are distractions. For example, we dwell on what a family member or friend is doing and saying in the moment. Comments or actions that can be quite dim-witted, unloving, or even unconsciously cruel. This puts us in a state of paranoia, where we suspect that the person may not care for us all that much.
Focus instead on how much the person at their core really does love you, and you will get more of their caring. Refocusing on the love that might not be evident in the moment is Positive Paranoia.
Dealing with Unwanted Dating Advice Tip #3 Think Positive Thoughts that Come from Positive Paranoia.
When someone gives you unwanted dating advice that…