Four Things to Remember When You Feel Like You Can’t Find the One
Is your heart broken? Has your love life gone to sh*t ? Are you feeling like you just can’t find the One? This hopeless feeling, this dead-end idea can be so devastating! The suffering of loneliness and heartbreak that you feel is real. It occurs in the part of the brain that experiences physical pain. And it is powerful. As the poet Kahlil Gibran said, “Even as love crowns you, so it shall crucify you!” And when you are disappointed, abandoned, alone, betrayed or cheated on, it can feel like it is killing you. You may even be attacking yourself, saying, “I blew it!” “I screwed up and lost my one and only soulmate!” “There’s something wrong with me—I’m too old and too fat!” We really need to banish this kind of awful self-sabotage. So here are four things to remember to overcome your hopelessness:
When You Can’t Find the One Tip 1: Remember it’s not about what has happened or is happening. It’s about the meaning you give it.
You break up with a guy and think I’ll never find love because there’s something wrong with me. Or I’m too old now and there are no good men left out there. Or I just lost my one true soulmate and no one else can ever be near as good! I call these negative knee- jerk thoughts, relationship-killer beliefs. It is these thoughts that cause all the suffering and pain. Not “what he did” or “what he didn’t do” Your awfulizing thoughts are the culprits! And they are just thoughts. They are not true! I will say that again, they are just not true! Even though they feel awfully true. There is nothing wrong with you and there are good men out there. The reality is that dating and finding the One (or Ones, which I will discuss next) takes time. It simply takes time.
When you you can’t find the One Tip 2: Remember there is more than one soulmate for each person!
In fairy tale land the prince, the one perfect guy is out there. You come together and bang—true lasting love! But in real life there is more than one soulmate for each person! How do I know? Because we have given 10s of thousands of sessions to single women all over the world. They come to us devastated because they lost a guy who they believe is their one and only soulmate. They are in despair and have lost hope. But the miracle is that, as they go through coaching, so many times they find another…