Many people write in asking for help with moving on from a relationship. Moving on is easier said than done, and it can take a long while to truly be able to say you have actually moved on. It isn’t a snap decision, it is a process, and processes take time.
Don’t beat yourself up that you are not over a relationship in record time. You may have been in a relationship for a long time, and had deep feelings for that person. You cannot rationally expect to be able to move on from something like that in a month or two. Regardless of what your well-meaning friends and family might say, you are a human being and it is going to take however long it is going to take.
Don’t rush into another relationship right away. You emotions are raw right now, and you still have feelings for your ex. It isn’t fair to be emotionally unavailable and to be dating someone new. Whoever you are dating doesn’t really stand a chance if you are emotionally unavailable. If you are not really ready to be dating and are pressured to do so, it can just make things worse and make it harder to move on.
It may be difficult to stop yourself from analyzing your past relationship on a daily basis. But if you really want to move on and move forward you cannot stay stuck in the past. It doesn’t matter what you could have done or said differently. You cannot go back and change it, so going over scenario after scenario won’t make any difference.
Yes, you deserve to feel hurt or confused. You may not have deserved the way you were treated. But don’t try and figure out why someone hurt you the way that they did. Does the reason really matter? What is it going to do for your current situation? Nothing, except keep you from moving on.
Don’t wait for them to apologize, don’t wait for them to give you closure. Forgive them without an apology. You don’t need one. Let it go and you will let them go as well. Closure is something you give yourself, by closing the door to that relationship. You don’t give it any energy anymore, or spend time thinking about it.
Of course you cannot do this right away, you need some time to let your feelings out so you can begin the process of moving on. Give yourself a reasonable amount of time to grieve and to reach a point of acceptance that the relationship is truly over. Cut them off from your social media accounts immediately. You do not need to see their life, and they do not need to see yours.