Is He a Non-Committal Guy?
Perhaps you feel you met the One. Yet he pulls away soon after, leaving you in limbo. Has he met someone else? Why is he running hot and cold? Do you have a future together? You wonder, Is it me? Is it him? Is this a non-committal guy and if so why do I mess with him? And you wonder, how do I handle a non-committal guy?
Maybe you tend to be involved with a guy for a few months and then he always falls away mysteriously, leaving you alone. Or you have been with a guy for 10 years who brings over the chicken soup when you are sick, but he can’t say the L word and is truly a non-committal guy. Or maybe you are in a long term on-again, off-again relationship where one or the other of you periodically withdraws or sees other people. The whole thing can be very unsettling and uncertain emotionally.
Have you ever been involved and in love with one man for months, or even years, only to find that he simply cannot or will not take that next step into living together or marriage? Instead he gets irritated, distant, angry or simply hits the highway if there is any talk of sharing a future together? If you have read this far I know that you have had at least one of these FRUSTRATING experiences with a guy.
How to Handle a Non-Committal Guy: Step 1: Understanding Your Differences
It is easy to assume that because you have been together a certain length of time, sleeping together or seeing each other frequently, that you are exclusive or moving towards a commitment with a shared future. Because of this assumption, you let yourself off the hook in terms of the need to speak up. You reassure yourself that everything is moving along fine. You tell yourself, I certainly don’t want to rock the boat by speaking up and then driving him away. But muting yourself is a very dangerous thing to do. Your boyfriend thinks very differently from you.
Remember, men often view a committed relationship as a smothering noose or a heavy rack of burdens. A woman will refer to a guy she has been seeing as her boyfriend, while he may not even see her as remotely in the ballpark of being his girlfriend. She is just someone he is currently sleeping with. This kind of disconnect can go on for a year or more, until he drops the “I’m-not-in-love-with-you” bomb. You cannot afford to waste your super precious time in these murky grey waters. You deserve the love you really want in your heart of hearts. Coming from that…